**WANTED: ABJECT DREAMERS FOR NEW STUDY OF THE INNER EAR $15/HR**

Our laboratory is currently seeking participants for new research into the relationship between suggestive dreaming and interventions of the cochineal labyrinth. Alpha waves produced during states of intense relaxation or arousal will be measured alongside participants responses to a variety of sensual oracle intrusions in the form of objects that otherwise should not be there. Maybe this sounds sexy or scary but its not. What we want to do is first sprinkle a little bit of crushed gravel into the outermost groove of your ear and wait until you fall asleep, then monitor how the rocks effect your rapid hammers-- your electroamatory ego. For example, do you ever dream that there is a pet fly in your ear? If so, someone close to you may be trying to tell you something.

The ideal participant will have submissive lobes, warm, low frequency drums and some experience with sleep deprivation and deep-brain structures. The study will start shallow, and then go deeper, very slowly, using the dampened stems of roses, until we touch the brain. In addition to gravel, we will introduce smoke, atonal music and tiny pieces of rubber (much less menacing than some other things people have found in their ears, i.e. a cricket, a popcorn kernel, a living dandelion...) Please note, however, that as far as foreign objects in the ear go, a person can put something there on purpose or it can arrive there on its own.

**To apply, please respond detailing your interest in abject dreaming and any relevant experiences from birth to the present. Those selected for the study will be asked to wear comfortable clothing and bring something coil-shaped to eat.